Update

First of all, thanks to EVERYONE who has been such a huge support and encouragement during a very difficult time period. I resigned this morning from the position, and will continue for a few weeks, until they get a replacement, but it shouldn't be more than a 1-3 weeks. It was SO the right decision, I just didn't belong there. I am totally happy with my decision, and Nate and I both really feel it was the right thing. The principal and staff were surprisingly respectful and supportive and seemed to understand the motives behind it, so that was good, seeing as though I was sick to my stomach during the day waiting to talk to them and break the news!! Anyway, here are a few random pictures that we had on our computer that I haven't posted. Remember, random is the key word. = ) Thanks again...the support really helped!

Mama's Dilemna

Well, there's going to be no pictures on this, just some much needed, heartfelt venting...

On Friday afternoon, Sept. 26th, my principal called me in to have a meeting. The long and the short of it is this...

They hired me in August to be 2/3 multiage elementary teacher at the public charter school with a focus on science and technology. This meant that instead of having a chunk of time during the day to teach science I would have to attempt to infuse scientific concepts throughout the day. Instead of teaching science isolate, i would have to read and write about science. I THOUGHT I was doing a really good job of this. My class writes in their science journals every day, instead of writing a journal entry about a teddy bear, they write about the life cycle of a butterfly, they sing about weather, they read non-fiction text about erosion, blah blah blah, you get the idea.

The district has also made it clear that as a district we would be focusing on a concept/plan called PLC which stands for Professional Leadership Community or something. It's basically a paradigm shift to look at your colleagues as team members and become vulnerable with each other and really collaborate. Fill in for each other's strengths and weaknesses, give advice, etc. I also THOUGHT I was doing a good job with this.

Well, apparently not. My two colleagues that are part of my PLC team have been apparently complaining to my principal that I was coming to them too much for help. Well, I'm new and they have a year of the charter school under their belt. My principal literally told me that I needed to do everything by myself, take some ownership, and "step up my game". Exact quote. She told me to try to next week to not go to them for anything. Completely goes against everything that PLC stands for.

She also told me that I need to come in earlier and stay later (legally, I'm NOT required to do that). That I need to create my own curriculum. That I need to bring more ideas to the table and share what I'm doing with my team (which is ironic since I'm not allowed to ask them to give me ideas), and that since I'm new and the charter school is still new (and some people don't like it) that I'm constantly under scrutiny and under a microscope, so I need to let those facts guide my actions. Apparently the charter school starting in this community was very political and emotional for many community members since it was something "new" and they didn't necessarily agree with it. So the parents TALK and apparently I have to cater to this.

This goes DIRECTLY against my whole teaching philosophy of doing what's best for kids. I am being told to cater my every move so that my colleagues, and parents are happy and from the outside it looks like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

What also makes me mad is that the two teachers on my team went to the principal without saying a SINGLE word to me. Should my principal have said, if you have a question for Jenn about how she is teaching, when she is leaving, or planning, or whatever, please go talk to her about it. Then, if nothing happens, the principal should step in and get involved.

It was so bad. I cried my eyes out all the way home. Working was a choice for me this year. I am sacrificing time with my child to do this job, and it simply is turning out to NOT be worth it. I am seriously considering terminating my contract. I know that it would leave the school in a lurch, and it would be SUPER awkward the days that I'm working until I leave, people would talk, but I just don't feel it's the place for me. No collaboration, under scrutiny and pressure at all times, hiding in my room with no one to go to, plus to boot, I'm missing out on my daughter's life for a grade level and a school that I am not passionate about. This is something that will be weighing on my heart, and I could really use your thoughts and prayers about what steps to take if any. I don't know what to do. I could stick it out until mid February when I leave for maternity leave, but every second that I have to be there seems like an eternity. I already wasn't loving it, and this just made it a million times worse. I will be praying and thinking a lot this coming week and weekend. If anyone has any comments or advice feel free to email me at shejen81@hotmail.com thanks-

Jenn

PS The pregnancy is going fine--we find out the sex of the baby on October 14th!

Little Flower Girl

Munch was the flower girl at my brothers wedding. There are better pictures that the professional photographer took, but here are a few snapshots. We thing the one with her paci is hilarious, because she totally has it popping out of her mouth like a cigar. She walked down the aisle perfectly and was such a good girl the whole night.

Hilton Head, SC

Here is a taste of some pics from our Hilton Head Island vacation. It was warm, sunny, and very fun. Abbie got a little bikini tan, which is the cutest thing ever. She was PERFECT the whole week. She had SO much fun in the pool and in the ocean. She learned how to play with the sand better too. It was so fun. I wish Nate could have been there, that was the only thing that was missing! It was a perfect end to a great summer. Mommy is going back to work on September 2nd. It's time.... = ) Hopefully we will be able to go back in 2 years with the TWO kids. Crazy.

Swing Set

Munch has been learning lots in the backyard lately... I know that sounds weird, but in Cali, we didn't have a "yard" just a side deck. She didn't have many chances to experience the swing set, slides, or even GRASS under her feet. She was totally freaked walking on it at first, and now she's gotten used to it. She LOVES the slide and totally throws a fit when we make her come in. It's SO hard to stop playing sometimes! She swung on the swing a little, but then wanted to get off. She loved it...I think we loved it more!!

Finally!!!

Okay, so I KNOW it's been forever since I've posted, and for good reason, we've kind of been busy... We moved, bought a new car, found a leak under the sink, then a gas leak in the basement... lovely. Anyway, here are some pics of the house, and a few of 4th of July. Not my idea to give Abbie a cupcake, she was so hyper the rest of the night.... but so cute! We had a great time, and the house is definitely coming together. The only room that I don't have a picture of is the master bedroom because we still don't have a bed... it was backordered. I'll be sure to put a picture up when we get it = ) The pictures are of the family room, kitchen, dining room, Abbie's room, Abbie's bathroom, Abbie's playroom (the blue room), the guest bedroom (the one with the pink accents), and both sides of the basement, one of them is obviously not done, and will be a "game room" when it's done. Miss you all in Cali!!!! = (

Leaving...

So... it's been a crazy time of emotional highs and lows this past week. I've been crying on and off saying goodbye to DEAR friends one at a time...Anyway.... we are off to Milwaukee tomorrow midday. We will fly into Minnesota first and then driving to Milwaukee on Friday, painting the house, then moving in. I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. The HARDEST thing was saying goodbye to the school and families that I've been working with for the past 5 years. My friend and job share partner cleaned up our classroom, and turned in our keys. I balled my eyes out. As I drove away from French Valley Elementary I had flashes of the first day i walked in, my first class, the first time I met my friends...so hard. It was so much more than a job. That's what I will probably miss the most about Southern California...well, that.... and the weather. But...off to a new adventure I guess. It's so hard to say goodbye...

One of the pictures is of me leading our 5th grade class in their promotion ceremony. We sang the song "All For One" from high school musical 2...except I changed the words a little. I cried when we read the poem outloud to our kids at the end, I cried when Andrea announced to all the parents that I was leaving, and the stood up and clapped....it was so hard. The kids performed flawlessly though. = ) I will miss them so much. I will miss everyone so much.